The Mind of A Madwoman
by Justagirlcalledbob
Summary: Snape, Black, and Lupin find themselves in the mind of an insane lunatic. WARNING FOR PURE INSANITY.


IID: "OOH BOY!THIS IS GONNA BE FUN!"

Severus: is very afraid. "I'm afraid to ask..."

Mira: "Dear god, this is hilarious! They're stuck in my mind IID!"

IID: preens "I know, doesn't it kick ass?"

Severus: "WE own nothing, zip, nada, and zero."

IID: "Damn Straight!"

Sirius, Remus: "We have a question, will we be molested by an attractive girl?"

IID: looking very sly and suspicious. "maybe." Evil laugh.

IN THE MIND OF AN INSANE GIRL!

DO NOT OWN BODIES THAT'S DROWNING POOL'S I DON'T OWN SEAN CONNERY LIKE I WOULD WANT TO, I DON'T OWN HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO THAT'S BONNIE TYLERS BUT I LIKE FROU FROU'S VERSION BETTER! I DON'T OWN CARLOS MENICA OR MIND OF MENCIA THAT'S CARLOS MENCIAS OF COURSE.

* * *

Severus Snape, ex death eater, Hogwarts potions master was tired. Exhausted more likely. He had just had his first 7th year potions class of the year, and they had tired him out more then he had expected. He felt his eyelids dropping, and felt himself float away into darkness…

* * *

Severus was in an infinite white void, and a few yards away there was someone standing there. He swept over and stared. It was a girl, who looked to 18 or 19, with golden blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. She was at least 5' feet tall, and she was staring at him. She wore a white sweatshirt and white sweatpants. "Uh…Hello." Severus said hesitantly, noticing he somehow had an American accent. The girl stared at him, before she squealed loudly, "SEVVIE!" He winced; the squeal was so loud and hyper that it hurt his ears. "Where am I? Who are you?" He asked cautiously, not wanting her to squeal again. "You're in meh head Homie G!" She chirped, as her neck stretched to an abnormal length and towered over him. He stared at her, stumped. "Meh name is Mira; since you're here ya wanna watch some of my thoughts?" She offered, grinning wildly at him. He nodded slowly, and she grabbed his arm. She dragged him over where there were three comfortable looking seats, and shoved him into one. She sat down in front of him, and a large movie theater screen appeared in front of them.

"Ok, I must warn ya some of these thoughts are DISGUSTING!" she chirped, as the room darkened. The screen lit up, and a man appeared on it, he seemed to be on a talk show of some sorts. "I hate when fat people go cry on oprah saying, 'I cry when I eat ice cream!" The man said looking annoyed. He took an astonished look and looked at the camera. "What is wrong you fatass? No one cries when they eat ice cream! You don't see little kids crying when the ice cream truck in going by, like," He took a cry face and pointed off in the distance. " Ice cr-cream…t-t-ruck!" He mock sobbed, before taking an angry face. He grabbed part of neck and pulled it. " You see this fatass? That's chunky monkey right there!" He shouted, before letting go. " Ice cream is happy food! I'm happy when I eat ice cream! I'm like," He started doing a little dance. "Chunky Monkey, Chunky monkey!" He stopped and shook his head with an exasperated look. Severus was flabbergasted; he looked at Mira and found her laughing her ass off.

The screen dimmed, and Severus just had to ask. "Who and what was that?" Mira finally stopped laughing, and took a few breaths. "That was super funny comedian Carlos Mencia, and that was him on his show, Mind of Mencia." She explained, before getting a mischievous grin. "We need some more ppls to have uber fun!" she exclaimed, before with a thud two figures appeared on the seats next to Severus. "BLACK?LUPIN? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Severus yelled, trying to leap up, but found himself restrained to the seat. Black and Lupin were in a similar situation. "What's going on?" Lupin asked worriedly, noticing Mira, grinning like a madwoman.

* * *

"YOU THREE ARE NOW MY PRISIONERS!MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mira yelled insanely, frothing at the mouth, and getting up and running in trapezoids like the lunatic she was. The three wizards sweat dropped, and then yelled at the sight of a giant sweat bead on the side of their heads. "Honestly, calm down! It's like you guys have never seen someone sweat drop before." Mira muttered, sweat dropping herself.

"MUSIC VIDEO TIME! BODIESBODIESBODIES!" Mira yelled spontaneously, and the roomed darkened yet again. The screen lit up, and they watched as they saw a mental patient with a punkish looking doctor leaning over and whispering into his ear. "_Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor  
Let the bodies hit the floor Beaten why for  
Can't take much more  
One - Nothing wrong with me  
Two - Nothing wrong with me  
Three - Nothing wrong with me  
Four - Nothing wrong with me  
One - Something's got to give  
Two - Something's got to give  
Three - Something's got to give  
Now  
Let the bodies hit the floor_,"

The images flashed fast by, and the wizards were just stumped as they saw Mira dancing about.  
"_Push me again  
This is the end  
Skin against skin blood and bone  
You're all by yourself but you're not alone  
You wanted in now you're here  
Driven by hate consumed by fear  
Let the bodies hit the floor!"_ Mira stopped dancing and stared at all three men. Severus became very unnerved as she began to drool. Suddenly she straightened and snapped her fingers. The lights went out and a beat began to play in the back round. A spotlight flashed down and Mira stood there, in very tight jeans and a very tight shirt. She smirked, and began to sing. "_Where have all the good men gone," _She pointed at Remus.

"_And where are all the gods?" _She now pointed at Severus

"_Where's the street-wise Hercules_

_To fight the rising odds?" _She pointed at Sirius.

"_Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?" _She pointed at all three of them.

"_Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need…"_ She gestured seductively at them, and thenshe disappeared. And the sound of Da, da, da da dums filled the air.

Mira appeared again right in front of the wizards, dancing as she sang,

"_I need a hero_

_I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night_

_He's gotta be strong_

_And he's gotta be fast_

_And he's gotta be fresh from the fight_

_I need a hero," _She gestured to them again, 'mouthing you are heroes!'

"_I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light_

_He's gotta be sure_

_And it's gotta be soon_

_And he's gotta be larger than life_

_Somewhere after midnight_

_In my wildest fantasy_

_Somewhere just beyond my reach_

_There's someone reaching back for me_

_Racing on the thunder end rising with the heat_

_It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet" _She pointed at all three of them again, smirking.

"_(Chorus)"_

"_Up where the mountains meet the heavens above_

_Out where the lightning splits the sea_

_I would swear that there's someone somewhere_

_Watching me"_

The lights went out again, and the three wizards felt a presence behind them.

"_Through the wind end the chill and the rain,"_

This was whispered in Severus's ear.

"_And the storm and the flood"_

This was whispered in Sirius's ear.

"_I can feel his approach"_

This was whispered in Remus's ear

"_Like the fire in my blood..."_

This was sung behind all three of them.

The song ended, and the lights went back on, leaving the three wizards stumped and very aroused. Mira was sitting in front of them again, smirking. She raised an eyebrow at them, and they all blushed. Suddenly a figure appeared, and said "He's a p." A giant foot swung out of nowhere and the guy went flying. "STAY OUTTA MY HEAD SEAN CONNERY!" Mira yelled, as the figure disappeared. Severus stared at her. "Well, now that my MUSICAL urge has disappeared…" Mira started, but stopped as a giant rubber duck floated by quacking. The three wizards stared as the duck floated out of sight. "What the bloody was that?" Sirius blurted, looking confused. " A rubber duck." Mira answered, looking at him like he was retarded. Severus sighed, this would take a while…

* * *

IID: "yay that was fun!"

Severus: seriously disturbed.


End file.
